Yeah, I know that the AJ Lee retiring story broke a few days ago, but I still consider it to be the biggest news going on in wrestling right now. So I’m gonna type about it some more whether you lovable rascals like it or not. Plus, this week’s RAW didn’t really give me much to work with, headline-wise.

No Bryan. No Ziggler. No Ambrose. No Hunter and/or Steph. This week’s show really lacked a “lead.” And can you even imagine if they tried to open last week’s RAW with Orton vs. Kane? Holy s***, there would have been blood in the aisles. Heads on pikes. And look, we all know that the post-Mania RAW crowd is particular, but I feel confident enough to say that “Anyone vs. Kane” is no way to kick off anything.

And I don’t mean to disrespect Kane. Or Big Show. But I don’t want to see Kane and Big Show on my TV anymore. I’m just at that point in my life. They’ve provided me with as much entertainment as they’re ever going to provide me with. It’s all just dry heaves right now. I guess that does sound disrespectful. So be it. But I sure as hell ain’t the only one sick of their mere presence. Guys stick around way too long these days. Most of my favorite wrestlers as a kid only had, like, a three/four year window of exposure. Now homeskillets stick around for decades and wear out their welcome.

And what’s worse, the announcers still have pretend like these two might win a match even though they haven’t won anything meaningful in ages (Big Show’s Mania win aside). This goes mostly for Kane, in particular, who hasn’t won sharks*** in a century. How come his mega-slump never gets called out?

Guys! Finally. We make a lovely couple……of best friends. ☺️ @WWEAJLee pic.twitter.com/XKPCXYxjKd

— Bayley (@itsBayleyWWE) March 29, 2015

Anyhow, those two are boring as batfarts right now. And Orton’s pushing it. Though I’ll admit my bias here. I’ve never found him exciting. That’s just me. So the best part of RAW last night almost became, by default, the replays of last week’s RAW that showed Brock going nuts. But whatever. I don’t like this, I don’t like that. To hell with us fans, right? We’re too picky. We say we want something new and then we s*** on new things. At least according to the post-RAW Jericho/Cena podcast, which quickly turned into a jokey “Eff You To The Fans” session.

Meh. More on that later. Let’s talk AJ. And how much it sucks that she’s gone. The wording of WWE’s tweet certainly made it seem like she was either leaving because she was pregnant or because she wanted to focus on getting pregnant. “Retiring?” From “In-Ring Competition?” Very specific when they could have just said she’s left WWE and done the whole future endeavor thing. But they were more friendly about it than usual. Which you might not expect given the sticky, sassy situation with her husband over the past year.

Then on RAW (and the pre-show, I heard), the announcers were all high off her fumes. Saying wonderful things about her and touting her accomplishments. Man, you’d never even know that JBL once decided to give her s*** about her neck tattoo for, like, forty weeks straight.

So I feel like this was a nice, amicable split and that room was left open for her to return later on. Maybe in a non-wrestling role. And it’s either because she’s expecting or it’s due to injury. She was trying to rehab a neck injury this past winter so that’s definitely a possibility. Though cutesy instagram images like these support the stork story…

That was posted before ‘Mania. And many noticed how little AJ worked (or bumped) in her tag matches at Mania and RAW. Combine that with the “baby fever” she reportedly had last summer and it’s enough to fuel a thousand outrageous speculations about private matters we should probably, out of decency and respect, not concern ourselves with!

So I’m either sad-sad about all this (if she’s left due to injury) or happy-sad (if it’s for other, brighter reasons). AJ’s been one of the very best parts of the WWE over the past four years. And the fact that she never became a part of Total Divas makes it all feel even more special. Sure, we still love Paige. And she hasn’t come off terribly on that show, which is a herculean feat unto itself. But I’ve never been a fan of the notion that fans won’t connect with Divas unless they can see them (and who they’re f***ing) in “real life.” You can’t be a character/persona, you have to let people totally inside your world. From shopping, to shouting, to s***ting.

Of course, the way the Divas come off on TD still constitutes “a persona.” It’s not fully who they are. It’s still a TV show. But I think that’s why we’re so enamored with the NXT gals right now. Aside from the fact that they can work, and that they’re given time to work, they’re actually able to remain mysterious. And one of the reasons why we get so nervous about them getting called up to RAW/Smackdown is the fact that they might have to do the Total Divas thing. I mean, we get nervous for everyone called up to the main roster, but the ladies have a few more bricks to bear.

That being said, if you’re a Diva who wants/needs to sell more merch (“Brie Mode” shirts were inexplicably worn by, like, every young kid during Mania weekend) or gain a large fan base without any ring time (Eva Marie), then TD is the way to go. Just be ready to get drunk on camera, share all your medical maladies, and reveal who you’re shtupping.

I can’t say that any of AJ’s matches stood out as being great. I mean, I think the last one that I felt was really good was her final match with Kaitlyn from a few years ago. Mostly, this is because Divas don’t get time to tell a solid story in the ring. AJ always felt bigger than her individual matches anyhow. Plus, for the first few years of her hot streak, she wasn’t competing on a regular basis. She was just part of main event storylines. She blazed a very special trail. At one point even, her feud was with “every other Diva on the roster.” And she won. She created a unique look. A distinct package that could be cosplayed. She was small, but her strength and confidence devoured almost every competitor she faced. And her mix of humor, humbleness and self-deprecation made her even more endearing. Especially on commentary. She will be missed.

Plus…SEXY KANE!